What to do when someone dies – Part 2

9 May

What to do when someone dies – part 2

I’ve covered in the earlier blog the functional issues of dealing with the death of someone. But I’m going to get “touchy feely” and I’m unashamed about it, it is important to understand.

Dealing with the functional issues is only part of the process, those left behind have to deal with the emotional consequences of a death of someone close to them.

It is important that the survivors acknowledge the impact that the death has had on them as it can create greater problems for them, as it is a significant stress factor that will magnify any other issues they may be going through.

To the bereaved grieve; it is not a sign of weakness. They need to process the emotions that a death to someone close brings up. Those around the bereaved will need extra patience and forgiveness, as will the bereaved themselves.

The bereaved should not rush to make enormous changes in their lives; they should take time to consider things carefully.

It often takes a whole year to get over the worst of the grief; it is not something done in a couple of weeks. We almost all have birthdays and Christmas as times of significance, but there are other key anniversaries that are important, so to a spouse, their wedding anniversary or the anniversary of their first kiss. To an outsider it may seem less important, but to the bereaved they are huge emotional issues to get through on your own, without the person who has passed away.

Everyone grieves in a different way to everyone else, it is why that couples who lose a child often end up separated, as they struggle to cope with the way that the other one grieves.

Like the tarot card, death can be a change and a new beginning, but no-one should underestimate how hard the new beginning is to achieve. Forgiveness in all its manifestations is key.

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